Author Question: How would I plug in a thesis statement to this introduction? (Read 1515 times)

aero

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It's a compare and contrast essay about the differences and similarities in the characters Romeo and Juliet from the play Romeo and Juliet. I already ahve the into figured out, all I'm wondering is how to write a thesis statement for a compare and contrast essay.

Here it is >>

Romeo, for the first time, lays eyes upon Juliet and is transfixed by her beauty. His jaw becomes frozen in time and he gawks unblinkingly at a beautiful apparition, while Rosaline, became a mere mist in his mind. From across the room, Juliet sits alone. Romeo still mesmerized by her beauty, asks a servant whom this beautiful creature could be. Soon, Romeo finally got to meet Juliet and they both fell in love against all odds. Even though the chorus told us they were star-crossed lovers, they did the impossible to be together. In spite of their differences in maturity and personality, Romeo and Juliet taught us that love can be intense and wonderful, by both sharing a strong belief in the passion of love.



j_sun

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This is a nicely written intro!  Going out on a limb, however, by suggesting that you eliminate one or two of the theys.  Can you find another pronoun to use for them; such as couple, pair, etc?

As for a thesis, you are nearly there with your last sentence.  Simply expand on that thought.  If both the writing and play gives that feeling, is it the method of delivery that makes it different?  The original writing obtained this by (?) but the play made use of (?) to achieve similar end goals.



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Jones

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In spite of their differences in maturity and personality, Romeo and Juliet taught us that love can be intense and wonderful, by both sharing a strong belief in the passion of love.

(this is a good thesis) If it's compare/contrast, you hit both by saying the differences(maturity and personality) and similarities (strong belief in passion of love)

On a side note, I would make the entire paragraph in one tense. You switch back and forth from past to present tense, which weakens the style a bit! Otherwise it is well-written!!! =)



 

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