Answer to Question 1
Answer: Akert (1998) found in her survey of college-age men and women that although both the partners experienced unpleasant outcomes after the relationship ended, their experiences differed, depending on their role in the breakup. By far, breakees were the most miserablelonely, depressed, unhappy, angry, and suffering from physical symptoms. Breakers experienced far fewer negative effects; they were the least upset and the least stressed, and although they often felt guilty, they suffered from fewer physical symptoms. The reactions of people who mutually decide to break up are somewhere in the middle, consistent with the fact that they are playing both breaker and breakee at the same time. Thus, the next time you face a breakup, if you are about to be the breakee, you will feel better and more in control of the process if you can mutually break it off (even though you might not want this to happen). If you are about to be the breaker, it would be better for your own emotional experience to stay in this role, but might be an act of kindness towards your partner to try to make the breakup decision a mutual one.
Answer to Question 2
Answer: There are destructive/constructive and passive/active responses. The destructive behaviors harm a relationship more than constructive ones build it. So, your roommate should avoid doing destructive behaviors such as leaving, threatening to leave, or even ignoring the relationship or partner.
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