What mistake does the writer make in the following introduction paragraph?
If you think our culture's obsession with celebrities is a recent phenomenon, let me tell
you about the Sutherland Sisters who were celebrities during the late 1880s. This essay will
explore all the ways the sisters, famous for their singing and long hair, paved the way for
celebrities endorsing commercial products.
a. The writer begins with a broad statement about something nearly everybody knows.
b. The writer announces the topic.
c. The writer apologizes.
d. The writer begins with an introduction that is too long.
Question 2
Which of the following improvements is more likely to occur in deep revision rather than
middle or surface revision?
a. create whole new paragraphs and cut sections after revising thesis
b. replace weak words
c. add more concrete details
d. make sentences less wordy
Early in the twentieth century, when malnutrition was common, companies such as this one advertised
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