Answer to Question 1
There are two destructive ways to deal with unwanted emotions which, unfortunately, some people use. One method is to temporarily relieve intense unwanted emotions through the use of alcohol, other drugs, or food. When the effects of the drug wear off, the person's problems and unwanted emotions remain, and there is a danger that through repeated use the person will become dependent on the drug. Some people overeat for the same reasons-loneliness, insecurity, boredom, and frustration. The process of eating and the feeling of having a full stomach provide temporary relief from intense unwanted emotions. Such people are apt to become overweight or bulimic-or both. The other destructive way of dealing with unwanted emotions is suicide.
Answer to Question 2
There are three constructive ways to change an unwanted emotion: getting involved in a meaningful activity, changing the negative and irrational thinking underlying the unwanted emotion, and changing the distressing event.
Meaningful Activity: Dwelling on day-to-day frustrations and irritations will spawn such unwanted emotions as depression, anger, frustration, despair, or feelings of failure. Which of these emotions a person has will directly depend on the person's self-talk. Meaningful enjoyable activity, however, produces satisfaction and a healthful distraction from unwanted emotion. Individuals can learn the value of meaningful activity by writing an escape list of activities they find motivating, energizing, and enjoyable-taking a walk, playing golf or tennis, going to a movie, shopping, doing needlework, visiting friends, and so on. By having an escape list of things they enjoy doing, individuals can nip unwanted emotions in the bud. By getting involved in things they enjoy, they can use enjoyable activities to take their minds off their day-to-day concerns and irritations. The positive emotions they experience will stem directly from the things they tell themselves about the enjoyable things they are doing. In urging individuals to compile and use an escape list, rational therapy is not suggesting that people should avoid doing something about unpleasant events. If something can be done to change a distressing event, all constructive efforts should be tried. However, people often do not have control over unpleasant events and cannot change them. Although they cannot change unpleasant events, people always have the capacity to control and change what they tell themselves about the unpleasant events. This latter focus is often helpful in learning to change the unwanted emotions.
Changing Self-Talk: A second approach to changing unwanted emotions is to identify and then alter the negative and irrational thinking that leads to them. Maultsby (1977 ) developed rational self-analysis (RSA), which is very useful in alleviating undesirable emotions. An RSA has six parts. The goal in RSA is to change unwanted emotions (such as anger, guilt, depression, or shyness). An RSA is done by recording the event and self-talk on paper. Rational self-challenges will work only if clients actively practice using the rational self-challenges they develop. Self-challenges work best when used by clients every time they start the original negative, irrational self-talk.
Changing the Distressing Event: A third way to change unwanted emotions is to change the distressing event. There are an infinite number of distressing events: losing a job, the breakup of a romantic relationship, receiving failing grades, being in an automobile accident, and so on. In some cases, constructive action can be taken to change the distressing event. For example, if a man is terminated from a job, he can seek another, when he finds one, he will feel better. If a student is getting failing grades, a conference with the instructor may give the student some ideas about how to improve the grades. If the suggestions appear practical and have merit, the student will feel better. Not all distressing events can be changed. For example, a woman may have a job that she needs and be forced to interact with other employees who display behaviors she dislikes. If that individual cannot change the behaviors of the others, the only other constructive option is to bite the bullet and adapt to the circumstances. However, when it is practical to change distressing events, they should be changed. When constructive changes in events are made, a person is then apt to feel better because he or she will then (in all likelihood) be having more positive self-talk related to the constructive changes that have been made.
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