Answer to Question 1
You can create awareness that the issue is a concern to you and that it should also concern the other party. Measures you can take include:
1 . Clearly express your concerns and how the failure to address them will adversely affect your relationship, and then request the opportunity to discuss these concerns.
2 . Show the benefits to the other party for negotiating.
3 . Inquire about whether the other party values your relationship, and explain why discussing the issue is important to the relationship.
4 . Ensure that the other party has all the facts concerning the issue so that he or she can clearly understand what bearing they have on the situation and can make an informed decision on what to do.
5 . Explore any communication gaps that you may have with the other party, or that you may have caused, to discern whether you have contributed to the problem, and then acknowledge this to the other party.
You can also strengthen your negotiation position by:
1 . Knowing your and the other party's BATNA. The more you understand these, the more you will know the likelihood that the other party will negotiate or whether further discussion is worth the effort.
2 . Strengthening your BATNA. If your bargaining position is not too strong, take measures to improve your BATNA so that the other party will take you seriously. For example, if you are negotiating a pay increase, find another job that pays better and challenge your current boss to make a counteroffer that meets or exceeds it.
3 . Defusing or weakening their BATNA. Show that the superior bargaining power that the other party feels she or he has does not, in fact, concern you.
Answer to Question 2
Storytelling allows each party in the dispute to tell his or her story in full. A party's story is essentially his or her view of the situation that led to the dispute. At the conclusion of the storytelling process, each individual should feel that he or she has been fully heard and understood by the other party. The goal of storytelling is to surface the underlying interests that are in dispute from which problem solving may begin.
The manager must ensure that each party has the opportunity to tell his or her story in full and that the party feels understood. By initially establishing ground rules, the manager can revisit them if the other party appears not to be listening or is engaging in conduct that interferes with the storyteller's ability to fully tell the story. For example, the manager can remind the party that he or she agreed to listen and not interrupt. The manager can also monitor a party's body language and non-verbal communication, and remind the party that such conduct is the same as not listening.
With respect to the party telling a story, the manager can ask clarifying questions to help the party fully convey the story. When doing this, the manager must be careful to guide the storyteller down the path that he or she is going rather than divert him or her down a different path. The manager must ensure that the party telling a story is able to do so from his or her frame of reference and avoid actions, statements, or questions that interfere with this ability.